WoW! its been a while

I guess I just havent been inspired. And extremely busy with beauty school. But I can say I've managed to find happiness in all of this madness. Sooner or later I'm gonna have to smile but until then I'll just keep my contentment.

Beauty School is great. Its been a long time since I've felt such joy in working hard, its not like I wasnt happy before but I wasnt living the life I wanted to live, now I want to continue in my trade and learn all that I can. So life is good but I miss my friends so much. It saddens me that our daily visits have become saturday night visits. ONLY! But at least I'm doing something with my life instead of sitting in my bedroom writing [oh man I almost spelled that wrong] stories and making art.
Basically, I'm pretty much loving life right now. Of course things can alway be better, but I'm satisfied.

xxXxx
VK

..Of the Week

I took this about 2 years ago and thought it would be joyous to share!

Enjoy??

Look at her Laughing

What a hellish week. AND its only tuesday!!
Damn! its times like this when I know i've just screwed myself into a never ending spiral of work and exaustion. Yet I still find the time after school, college, and homework to screw around on the net and write ridiculous blogs about nothing. At least my sundays and mondays are clear for days of kingdom hospital and simon & garfunkel.
I'm crazy excited for Cameo to take hold and I'm finally getting organized enough to take hold of my own life and I'm not gonna let my mentally ill parents run it for me.
Woot, I told you it was hell like.

But to move on. I discovered something pretty awful today.
Every single person I clicked with at Cameo was reasonably older than me. I came to find that I fail at making friends my own age unless they have an aged mind themselves. I get along with people who are not always talking about lame things but rather things like people, enviroment, music, and their phylosophy's. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that I can connect to human beings on a much deeper(but not personal) level than small talk, which I also fail at.

well,
I suppose I should be heading off to slumber right about now.
be seeing you
xxXxx
VK

Madame Guillotine

So on monday me and my beloved sister went to go see "the scarlet pimpernel" at the Hale Centre Theatre! It was a rather successful drive into the city, I cant quite say the same for the way back but all around it was one of my best nights out!
I love the french! "The scarlet pimpernel" just happens to be my new 2nd favorite production the theatre has put on. The cast was immaculate and, although there were a few mess ups, the show was amazing. I hope HCT puts on a third production of this show.
I alway wish that they would put on a 2nd production of Camelot staring Joseph Paur as King Aurthor. I seem to have a wee bit of a crush and him.
Any way I just had to say that my monday night ended rather well for being the first day back to education.[bleh].
The bless-ed theatre has my delight in its hands.
xxXxx
VK

I met the timeline

I've always found it hard to start a blog. I never know what to say or when I know what to say how it actually sounds.
But I saw a movie tonight. it actually only finished maybe 30 minutes ago. I think I'll go watch it again. "Girl Interrupted" is its name. I dont think I've ever seen a movie thats made me feel more crazy and normal at the same time. A movie of true events, those are the ones that hit me the hardest and inspire me the most.
I want to write a book. A real book with real people and real ideas. Not shitty ones with morals or schemeing plots to make it sound amazing, possibly make you cry then out of the fucking blue hits you with something to make you feel like your doing things all wrong. I'm paranoid that way. I've got it through my head that i'm making it right. I'm making it my way, our way. A way to make it better for, not just me or us, but everyone. All of our ideals or a better lifestyle are different. Everyone doesnt want the same things or plan to say trips. No, we have it engraved in us. Telling us where to go. Its like destiny. But there is no destiny, if there was there would be no point in trying. Things have already been made for us. A settlement in a simple timeline, a movie with an ending instead of a book that can always be changed, rewritten, or erased! unless written in pen of course.

I guess what i'm ultimately trying to say is. . .
actually, I dont really know what i'm trying to say.
our timeline isnt set, dont make a movie out of yourself

write a fucking book!


xxXxx
VK

Blind

Who knew i'd be so far behind on succeeding?
I sure didnt.
however who knew i'd be so far ahead of everyone in maturity.
I've grown up in town where you can be a loud, obnoxious badass and no one really cares other than the mormons who seem to be the most loud and obnoxious. Flip somebody off with out getting shot in the head. And be who you want to be with, once again, nobody caring. I havent expirienced war or crime and althought its happening all around us my town has very little knowledge of it. My mom grew up in a city, a small one but a city non-the-less. And my dad here, in this town of ignorance. I think of ways my life could have been different. I want to leave G-ville and move to some sort of action. I wonder if I were to grow up in a city, a big city, if i'd want to move to a small quiet town. why would anyone want to move here. everything thats good in this town has gone to shit. a modern town of destruction and corruption, the upbringing of saints in a hell. How exciting that must be. Well its not. I'm so sick of hearing people talk about how they cant wait to expirience something bigger and better. Thats great. Dream big. Everyone should.
But as i sit talking to you, you talk of your dreams and plans. not once did you mention waiting for her. I would wait a whole life time for her. I would never in a million years leave my friends behind if we both wanted the same dreams in the long run. hers are just gonna take longer because she doesnt want to be a fucking bum and work in a book store until she's 45. Your dreams may come with happiness but devisation as well.
once again I come back to this small town. When I say it comes with corruption I meant it. what has this town done to you? made you angry. when we came as a whole and realized we are much bigger than all of this. Slow down. I'm pissed at this town too. We can be outlaws together but I cant move at the slacking pace you are.
its not fair to us.
any of us
you ask why i'm mad at you and all i'm gonna say it that you hurt both of their feelings. and that means more to me than anything.
Everything

VK

My favorites

More promotional posters

evolutionary theory

I am in an exceptional mood this fine day.
Although I woke only hours ago, and fell asleep only hours before, something is in the air.

Perhaps its the sound of the beloved's "untitled", the almost rainy day, or that fact that i've watched watchmen 3 times in two days. The most delicious cheese ommlet sits in front of me getting cold because I'm having a writing flow. ...

Salmon posted pictures of Toro's birthday. Ralph, Salmon, Shalayne, and I had much fun making the most awful cake in awhile. Troll was hanging out with her BF so she was missed but we still managed to watch cradle of fear, and enjoy it just the same, with out her presence. odd.


I'm enrolling in Beauty school this fall. I'm hoping its what I really want to do because it seems to be something I love.. Hair, nails, muscles, facials, the whole fucking works thats for sure..
The future seems so close and although only months before i was concerned for it, I found it to look a bit brighter and fun. Even the grimy parts seem exciting. I'm still scared that i'll get fucked over by insurense and car sellsmen but I'll still be in utah for awhile so i'll get my dad to help me.
I've grown up. From being a popularity concerned child to a home buyer. Its exciting knowing that I've become my own evolutionary theory.

xxXxx
VK

Girl with golden eyes

She speaks to me in Persian
Tells me that she loves me
The girl with golden eyes
And though I hardly know her
I let her in my veins
And trust her with my life

I wish I had never kissed her
'Cause I just can't resist her
The girl with golden eyes
Every time she whispers
'Take me in your arms
The way you did last night.'

Everything will be okay
Everything will be alright
If I can get away from her
And save my worthless life.

I wake up every morning
Jonesing for her love
The girl with golden eyes
I won't have to wait long
'Til she buries me with roses
'Cause she's always by my side

Everything will be okay
Everything will be alright
If I can get away from her
And save my worthless life.

Everything will be okay
Everything will be alright
If I can get away from her
And save my worthless life.
Everything will be okay
Everything will be alright
If I can get away from her
And save my worthless life.

~sixx a.m

The greatest damn thing

omg you guys!
after a failed hair cut my hair never wanted to listen or do what is was told!
which meant no curls, no style, no fun.

but the greatest thing just happened a few short minutes ago.
as i was looking at some old pinups I decided to try out some victory rolls again. Somthing i had failed at for weeks but alas my hair decided to help me out and they actually worked!
I took some fabulous pictures of me and will post them in time... but I cant find the cord to the computer so I must wait

xxXxx
VK

Picture-Tastic

I think I think too much! Thanks to my delusional mindset I'm continuously wondering about the most outrageous things that would never cross others minds. The obsession, the beloved, the gruesome fucking picture. I am Giant. Hear me fucking roar!

So to pass the time I take loads of pictures.

Mostly of the weirdest of things or I find my self looking up pictures of ridiculous things like old clocks and hairstyles of the forties. Whoo go victoria. I even mangaged to take a few pictures while driving, before I almost killed myself, it went rather successfully.

But as I was looking through all of my pictures tonight I came across some history.

I found videos of myself and my friends hanging out beneath the trees and remembered when i felt so simple. The Sweater and green bow gave away my childlike ways and made me smile, call up an old friend, and "re-kindle" a boysterous wild fire. Because thats how I feel when hanging out with her. As though the very ground we walk upon burns to ashes.

more useless information:

Ralph is headed to comic con on tuesday! They have over 400 events going on in a course of 4 days. How exciting. Neil Gaimen, Gerd, Elvira, Mythbusters, and so many more important and awesome guests are gonna be there. Jealousy gets the best of me. behh.

I feel like a freak hoping that she brings me back Gerd's autograph

TeeHee

oh no.

i'm wasting away writing this so I suppose i'll go waste me worthless words elsewhere

xxXxx

vk

I sound like a bloody poetic wanker

So my dear friend Desperado just stated how things even out. And I agree completely. even about the thinking too much.
However, does death and happiness for a new phone really compare. Or speding 20 bucks to go to the movies add up to $400 of repairs?
I wouldnt ever think so but just the thought of evening things out frightens me...
if i were someone pesimistic i would say i had a fear of being happy for fear of being sad. . .

but any way moving on.. .. ..

So I just got out of a relationship, if you can call it that. I found myself wanting to do nothing but have fun and led him on to believe he liked me. . but he only liked the thought i was portraying to him. After time moved on I realized I would much rather spend the rest of my life with the clot(and i know in time that isnt always gonna end the way i want it to) than be in a happy relationship. I'm looking for perfection in a broken incomplete mirror.
How poetic.

xxXxx
VK

Happy Fathers Day

here i am on fathers day at my grandparents house.
a house i had seen all weekend and am about ot get fucking sick of! I love the old feel. its perfect for a fool like me.

watched 'gran toreno' this weekend! Clint Eastwood has to be the kewlest old man i've ever seen. When i get old I plan on being like so! minus the racism and stuff, but you get the picture. If you havent yet seen this i suggest you pick up a copy right now and watch about a billion time or to your hearts desire.

i'm being stared at so perhaps its time to go

so long my fellow bloggers


Toria D
xxXxx

Nothing. . . and i mean nothing

. . . has happened in the past some odd days. Here is my daily agenda.

sleep
wake up
eat
sleep
wake up
get ready
sleep
wake up
go to work
. . . then stay up til 4 in the morning
sleep.

pretty much sums up my daily schedule for this long awaited summer.
however with my little plans I have a fear of very little being acomplished other than the 10 ten pounds i just dropped and making my boyfriend think i'm a total x-straight edge-x. Whoo success. and I wonder why I've never had longer than a 3 month relationship.

oh man i can tell i'm word vomiting. I suppose i'll sell myself short this go around.
so long and good night.




xxXxx

Glitter Page

A glitter exterior, sparkly hair and tall platform boots.

I just expirenced the glitteriest movie ever! and it is currently my favorite. I suggest if you ever come across 'velvet goldmine' you watch it . . . with caution of false homosexual encounters.

take a look into my sparkly liner!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1y_PRuq7x0&feature=related

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person! Give him a mask and he'll tell you the truth!"

Jayne Mansfield

What more could anyone want in a icon? A charismatic sweetheart who took America by surpise with her beauty and talent.

"I will never be satisfied. Life is one constant search for betterment for me."

~J.M

As you sit on your cloud and smile down on us we look up and see only sunshine.

Yours truly,

Toria D

xxXxx

Getting NoWhere

Dreaming of a car crash
And eternal life

Dreaming of Sobriety
And an empty bottle

Dreaming of No Gravity
And falling down

Dreaming of Virginity
And the girl next door

Dreaming of Darkness
And illumination

Dreaming of society
And the apocalypse

Dreaming of Weakness
And vitality

Dreaming of Growing up
And being immature

Dreaming of Everything
And getting no where

For the eyes of the blind only!

His car's here.

Why did that have to be the first thing she though when she pulled into Jr. Mart? She questioned her timing at moments like this and wondered if she'd ever get it right. And at this moment, a moment unaware of the surprise waiting for her behind the automatic doors, she erased all old feeling for this man she might have had before. A clean slate.

FAIL!

He stood there at check stand 1 and she could only hope he did not see her eager eyes. A face woken up too early and a painted on smile. She knew her nervousness didnt look like blush but she pretended it did none the less.

He followed her into the guest service booth.

"hey", he smiled

shit. She nodded and continued to punch in her hours

"How are you?" His voice seemed smoother than she had remembered and chills ran up her spine and attacked.

"Fine" She walked away and wondered why she hadnt started up a converstion. Why she hadnt asked him how he was instead of looking like a total bitch and not caring at all. She took a moment to look back and noticed he looked rather hurt at her gesture. Her heart sank at this thought and she just wanted to go back there, kiss him, and let him know she was hopelessly in like with him.

How could she not be. He was tall, a trait she had never really cared to notice before, and he had the most goregous hair any women would ever dream of. She felt simple minded noticing his sharp features when she knew that wasnt the reason she ever really liked him.

There was never silence when they had talked. They could relate to the stories of one another and would often strike up more interesting facts about each other. Words flew from each others mouths as though never to be awkward. At least thats how it was. Management removed him from his previous position and their conversations had died down when they had stopped working together. Her feelings for this man were lost in only a months time. However she knew this wasnt true, she wouldnt have longed to see him if it were.

Perhaps it was the wink he gave her every single time she walked by that made her stomach turn and feel as though a billion butterflies were having a party. Or was it the cute smile he only gave her and she had to question whether or not the catching each others eyes was just a coincidence.

She didnt know. She didnt care to know. All that had ever mattered is that she could hope to find these feeling elsewhere, there was no hope finding love in Jr. Mart. Desires and dreams arent made on the cooking aisle.

Is love really blind?

Or are we too ignorant to see?

xxXxx

Whats good enough for you

Is good enough for me.

Cyndi Lauper, I love you.

Your the sugar coated exterior pop princess of the century.

As my tape starts to demcompose I look to the net and find your one and only. I smile and take back all the mean things I had once said about the Girls of the 80's. I think I'll hold on to you for at least a moment.

Our time together may pass but just know you were mine for at least a year.

Hold me close to your heart

Yours Truly,

Toria D

xxXxx

Hook City!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kMi9tvuuZY

Ray brought me upon this little jem. And for the past 6 hours I havent stopped listening to my cyndi lauper tape!
That shit is gonna get worn out.


For the blind eyes only!
!!!ENJOY!!!

xxXxx

GhostTown after SunDown

The sound. The smell. The inside fucking joke that no one knows.
I felt like killing a man tonight. I had the weapon, the anger, and the chance. My insides started to burn as he turned his back to me and I knew his life was flashing before his eyes. A sudden memory of his fears and desires in just a moments time.
I pick up a metal shard that lies at my feet. One step closer, two steps, three. I could not have been thinking straight. I had been up for days and nothing else seemed to matter as long as his death did not make much noise or a nasty mess for the police to find in the later days. I was too fragile to have 1st degree murder on my clean record.

My eyes widen. A euphoric feeling. I could see his lifeless body lying at my feet before I attacked. I start breathing frantically and prop up my arms before I swing!




A clean cut.
No mess. No proof. No life.

xxXxx

Where do you find the time?

I dont have time. I never do but when i get a moment, even if its only a minute, i make sure to annoy you with yet another blog. A pointless, self absorbed blog that quite possibly has nothing to do with . . . anything. I didnt think blogs had to be about anything. I can tell i'm getting over excited about blogging and to be honest I LOVE IT!!!! Odd. I've always been odd. I'm the spawn of melting souls and its how i was destine to be.
So you see my dilema. I have work in an hour and court tomorrow and the art of clubs the next day and then work again. I guess friday will be a night of all out internet duty. A-ha its not that easy to get rid of me. no, no I'm sorry. Stain Resistant.

over and out
xxXxx

Fuck your Weapon of Choice

Thats right! I've given up on stupid people and stupid friends. I dont really understand why you gave up on someone who loves you to death and chose those fucking chemicals that put you to death. I sit at my computer wondering if you still think about me or if the needle in your arm wipes away the memories of us laughing and smoking in your car. Your one of them and I'm so sick of hanging out with people that have nothing planned out for them and are just sitting on their couch stoned and uncoherent. Its ridiculous how often those poeple appear in my life and I often dont judge however when you know the person and you know that they have alot of potential it kills you inside knowing the only reason they are doing this is because they want to fit in. I leave and pretend i never cared for them. Because it kills me more than it kills them. I dont want to sit and watch as they decompose and lose all interest in life.
I stand watching your every move and I'll be civil even though I know your murder scene is only months away. I can remember getting pissed at a friend because he was being ingnorant about abusers and I hated him momentarily. I guess I never quite understood how much pain it caused the watcher. I want to murder you. I think life would be easier on you and on those who care about you nowadays. Because I don't!
Is that why I want nothing to do with you or is it the fact that you ditched me for a substance?
Fuck you and your chemicals.
I know that your a good person and I want you to see that aswell.

How long before you realize this fantasy is an illusion. Feed your addiction.
I understand


Your not ready for someone like me.

xxXxx

To welcome the blood clotted affair

1st off I would like to welcome coagulation affair to the murder scene. A round of applause please. Thank you. Thank you! I'll Them know you care!

and to go coinside with inspirational artist. I thought i'd steal the idea and write about mine. Any one heard of the Local Artist Grant Fuhst? No? well instead of telling you much about his work i'll just show you it!

xxXxx

Favorite Person

Two beautiful women! Mother and daughter.

Mariska is my Heroine, I honestly don't know what I would do with out her! Jayne is my Idol every girl should feel as beautiful as Jayne did. Its hard to find someone with such insight.

My forever devotion,

Toria D

xxXxx

Yngwie Who?

Yngwie Fucking Malsteen thats who!!

Lets see what I know about Him. . .

He's a guitarist[given]

He was born in sweden in '63. Youngest child of the household

"Yngwie originally had no interest in music. However, on September 18, 1970, Yngwie saw a TV special on the death of guitar iconoclast Jimi Hendrix. Seven-year-old Yngwie watched with awe as Hendrix blasted the audience with torrents of feedback and sacrificed his guitar in flames. The day Jimi Hendrix died, the guitar-playing Yngwie was born."

Yngwie has an awesome fender. Even though I've never really liked fender something about this guitar is nice. Specific orders. If i was him i'd want a specialty guitar too.

And yea thats pretty much all I know

What I think?

To be completely honest I had little interest in yngwie to begin with. My friend had talked about him all the time and I couldnt care less. However as I started listening to Rising Force marching out I couldnt believe how great of a guitarist he is. I must admit that the vocalist helped some. I started looking up videos of him and watched some live preformances, he puts on one hell of a show and the 80's were a crazy concert era. Oh and i must say at one point Yngwie had it going on. Something about Long hair and guitars pulls me in. But any way, I found much inspiration in listening to him and i actually picked up the guitar again. Of course i'm not near as talented but just hearing someone say yngwie malmsteen I want to pick of Lonei and pretend i know what i'm doing.

I cant say I would want to listen to him on a regular basis but I definately wouldnt turn down the chance and there's a possiblity that in the future he could become one of my favorite guitarists. So if you ever get the chance to listen I suggest you hit that shit up. You'll know what I'm talking about, you just get that feeling ya know?

Inpiration is found in the oddest of places and I never thought I would find it in a metal god. Twisted everything i knew. But I like this twisted life of mine. I think i'll stick around for awhile:)

musical reveiw part one

out

xxXxx

Mister E and Elvis

I cant wait until I get to watch "Elvis and Me" again. A movie of pure passion and a sudden shock of emotion. Mister E oddly reminds me of elvis and perhaps this is why I have a dire sensation every time i see him. His button up shirt tucked into his pleeted slacks. Shiny shoes and cuff links.



















I remember having a conversation with someone and talking about the life of elvis and cilla. Even though Elvis grew to be a misunderstood, typical rockstar I could not find one reason to not love elvis. He seemed perfect in so many ways and I would never give up a chance to be with such a man. I guess that could just be my inner rock belle showing through.

I know that's my insta-sensation with Mister E.
ha insta-sensation
xxXxx

Rain on FreeComicBookDay's parade

Hey its may 2nd and you'll never guess the phenomenon that just hit UT.
It free comic book day and alast i can not go. Sadness strikes as the adults take control of its youth yet again.
However I'm moderately okay with my misfortune. I have a whole saturday to sit around doing nothing when I otherwise could have been getting out in the rain and messing up my purple hair. Not very satisfying if you ask me. *sarcasm noted*

On a ligher note I watched the notebook last night on oxygen. Even though I'm an edgy rock chick with a taste in movies such as james bond and batman I'm a sucker for those good old fashioned romance tales that are dark yet playful and happy. But theres something different about 'The Notebook'. I've always been drawn to the 40's so maybe thats it. I honestly could sit and think all day about why that movie is memorable but it would never come to me.

Oh my, I believe I smell a burning breakfast.
My departure occurs


xxXxx

Honesty IS the best policy

its an honest trait to come upon! but still it sits there as if you have not a need for it! but this trait doesnt understand its importance! did you tell this trait how much it meant to you? or did you kiss it on the cheek to let it know you care? i didnt think so... then how does this trait know it is of great value! this trait IS honest and will tell you how its feels... all you have to do its ask. but most times such trait is forgoten about. perhaps it isnt so important... awh but it is... you see ... this trait is honesty ... and honestly you cant live a life unless your rule is in fact 'honest'

Bagger of Choice

She nervously stacks the ice as if someone is watching closely. . . no one watches. . . no one ever seems to notice the awkwardness of her pondering gaze. But she wishes he would see, at least once, while she acts gracefully upon the other slaves at work.
It takes time to wonder if you are noticed, that you may often get lost far from where you are destine to be. She has spent far too long wondering if she has been noticed by the man she loves that she has forgotten to notice herself.

Intimate options

I am sorry for not telling you the truth. Not that I have said lies but you have most definetly assumed the worst of me. I'm sorry for letting you believe you were anything to me... I work alone in this life. For me to admit you meaning something to me at one point I'd only be half right. I won't call or send you an email, I simply can't stand talking to you anymore. You are fooled easily but I can not apoligize for that. That is your fault, not mine. Be strong and a little less trusting next time.
You're gone now. My long tormenting days are at an end but are far from quiet. I can still hear the loud shouts and the cry ever so often. Not even the keen senses can drown them out. If you don't understand all I'm trying to say is I'd rather hurt you than have you hurt me... I don't want to feel the curse which I have given to you. I am not guilty and I really don't care. Did you think you were going to break me?... right... I wish someone could


xxXxx

The apocalypse has begun!

"The 1st thought: End the world in a solid gun battle. Empty the viruses and welcom home those who have forgotten what natures land looks like."



I've needed a place to blog for some time now. You can imagine my excitement when I found this gem of a site. The funny thing is i was just looking for new 40's inspired hair styles and found the home of my dreams in a tinyurl.

I suppose I should start off by telling you some possible facts about myself. Lets see how much I can fit in a sentance.

I'm a comic book reading, MyChemcialRomance loving, coffee addict from the most ridiculous small town in Utah. I thrive on success and variety of my peers. My musical collection has widened over the years and I have yet to find someone with the same taste as I. Still searching for my musical soulmate in anyone other than the clot.
awh yes the clot.. .. how do you describe madness?
My friends and my enemies. I wake up everymorning hoping that I see them before night fall. Corny beyond belief yet i cant seem to get enough of them. We're the clot, together or apart we will remain so.

hmm . . . i can tell my blogging skills run short in this entry. Maybe i can wow you in the following

xxXxx