A Friend. A snapshot. A song. Just a few things I noticed today that make me feel happy. I dont want to see the world in such a dim light anymore.
I'm starting school again soon and it would help if I could feel inspired when I return. Alot has changed and I feel as though I need to get my act together and do something like my friends are. They either have jobs, college, or boyfriends and I will hardly see them when the summer is over. Shot gun to the lungs anyone? I still have this ideal future where we are all living together in a sweet house with our kitties and lizards and not a care in the world. But when highschool ended I felt like I was in some sort of sick dramatic sitcom where we all went our seperate ways and just dealt. I dont want to deal I want to live. Go back to our photographs, and coffee/cake birthday parties. Angry rants about society and not putting up with the worlds bullshit! I'm done with this adult lifestyle and I want to say "fuck you". I'm not longer a cog in the machine and I'm not longer your petty servant.
But I've become soft. Not seeing and losing a friend can really break a girl. But I'm putting her back together. lets go apeshit on the surgery. The seamstress is in to put this ragg doll back together. But the truth is you look better in peices.
xxXxx
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Kumiko Kensei
A new obsession. I found a show that actually explains what life is about to me. Its an anime called "nana". Who knew such a silly cartoon could actually explain what something so real and deep. I'm so tired of best friend movies and shows being about get togethers at the mall then suddently learning you have something incommon other than you all look great in designer jeans.
Its hard for me to hear people say that they dont need best friends because they have their boyfriend or family. and I'm tired of people telling me that family means everything, when I say you cant say you love someone just because you share the same genetic quality. My mother and I have nothing in common and to be honest I hate most of the bullshit that comes out of her mouth. the lack of common knowledge this town holds is ridiculous. I'm surprised me and clot havent burned down the schools or churches in this town yet. But we're better than them and we dont need fire to prove we outshine the sun.
anyway I'm getting of subject, my point is "nana" is the only media that I've seen that shows what me and clot are really about. we dont care about the little things but we dont ignore them either. What matters is that we dont act like most girls our age and we dont let the little people get us down. Even though most of us are contained right now and lost in our own dreams we know we will always be together physically and mentally. None of that bullshit about us finding better friends later on in life. . . We've already got the best and thats all we can ask for
Its hard for me to hear people say that they dont need best friends because they have their boyfriend or family. and I'm tired of people telling me that family means everything, when I say you cant say you love someone just because you share the same genetic quality. My mother and I have nothing in common and to be honest I hate most of the bullshit that comes out of her mouth. the lack of common knowledge this town holds is ridiculous. I'm surprised me and clot havent burned down the schools or churches in this town yet. But we're better than them and we dont need fire to prove we outshine the sun.
anyway I'm getting of subject, my point is "nana" is the only media that I've seen that shows what me and clot are really about. we dont care about the little things but we dont ignore them either. What matters is that we dont act like most girls our age and we dont let the little people get us down. Even though most of us are contained right now and lost in our own dreams we know we will always be together physically and mentally. None of that bullshit about us finding better friends later on in life. . . We've already got the best and thats all we can ask for
Thursday, March 25, 2010
shining stars
1st off i would like to say that I had the best fucking start to this week. The otep concert was fucking amazing! Lyric, Lexxi, and I saw six bands all together. Destrophy, through the eyes of the dead, bury your dead, and otep are the only ones I can currently remember. We managed to show up about an hour early and got to meet otep. I must say that was the highlight of my year.
It only goes down from there.
I've had the most deja vu this week then I have had in a long time. I've done nothing but whisper secret words into the dark and deleted myself from society! I need a break from this town, family, and all you motherfuckers who "defy" whats right. Yeah thats right I'm talking to you. I've had no fun at school lately, perhaps its the lack of friendships I have at school. I hate my generation, they are nothing but bitches with no common sense. Most intelectual people at my school say I'm a youngen who wouldnt possibly understand. Which is mostly true but I dont quite understand my peers either. All they talk about is boys and how lame "Bad Girls Club" was last night. Awh I'm too busy trying to find the truth behind the lies.
I just can't wait until a plane ticket is at my fingertips and I can escape to Steel Town once and for all!
Make me believe that this is all worth it!
goodnight my glittery stars
xxXxx
VV
It only goes down from there.
I've had the most deja vu this week then I have had in a long time. I've done nothing but whisper secret words into the dark and deleted myself from society! I need a break from this town, family, and all you motherfuckers who "defy" whats right. Yeah thats right I'm talking to you. I've had no fun at school lately, perhaps its the lack of friendships I have at school. I hate my generation, they are nothing but bitches with no common sense. Most intelectual people at my school say I'm a youngen who wouldnt possibly understand. Which is mostly true but I dont quite understand my peers either. All they talk about is boys and how lame "Bad Girls Club" was last night. Awh I'm too busy trying to find the truth behind the lies.
I just can't wait until a plane ticket is at my fingertips and I can escape to Steel Town once and for all!
Make me believe that this is all worth it!
goodnight my glittery stars
xxXxx
VV
Friday, March 12, 2010
... of the week
took this the other day at lyrics house with lexxi!
WARNING!! GIANT DEEZBOTROLL ON THE LOOSE!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
bye bye baby
wow what a hectic couple of months. fuck its ridiculous how busy I've been I can't even manage to write a new blog! but I am pleased to anounce that i now have a new computer that wont die on me in the middle of writting! I'm terribly sad to say though that my last computer had all of my great stories! is this the price I pay for happiness? a new computer with forgot thoughts and lost memories?
I've made a promise to myself to now make a hard copy of all of my stories and thoughts. so when D'Artagnan[my new computers name] commits suicide I will not be with out an oldschool backup!
anyway to tell you a bit about what has happened over the past few monts is this! NOTHING! besides school nothing incredible has happened or anything blog worthy. I have seen some new movies like Avatar and Alice in Wonderland which I might say I thought was simply amazing. And although he plays a rather small part I proclaimed passionate love for Alan Rickman. Yes, I repeat, Alan Sidney Patrick Rickman. I find him to be a truly amazing actor and to have one of the sexiest voices on the face of the planet! Now that I have finished my barbaring class, I am waiting for the day he walks into Cameo and sits in my chair and does nothing but talk the whole haircut! hmm wouldnt that be lovely!
Ehem now that I am done being a creeper I move onto my social aspect of life. Although ridiculously smaller than before Cameo I have found myself enjoying my friends even more in the little time I get to see them and I no longer take for granted what mother earth has "blessed" me with. I just cant seem to build that bond with anyone else I meet. I'm starting to wonder if our meeting each other was not just chance . . .
hurm pondering though.
well I suppose I have released everything I have for now and hope to write more now.
so long my little bandits!
xxXxx
VV
I've made a promise to myself to now make a hard copy of all of my stories and thoughts. so when D'Artagnan[my new computers name] commits suicide I will not be with out an oldschool backup!
anyway to tell you a bit about what has happened over the past few monts is this! NOTHING! besides school nothing incredible has happened or anything blog worthy. I have seen some new movies like Avatar and Alice in Wonderland which I might say I thought was simply amazing. And although he plays a rather small part I proclaimed passionate love for Alan Rickman. Yes, I repeat, Alan Sidney Patrick Rickman. I find him to be a truly amazing actor and to have one of the sexiest voices on the face of the planet! Now that I have finished my barbaring class, I am waiting for the day he walks into Cameo and sits in my chair and does nothing but talk the whole haircut! hmm wouldnt that be lovely!
Ehem now that I am done being a creeper I move onto my social aspect of life. Although ridiculously smaller than before Cameo I have found myself enjoying my friends even more in the little time I get to see them and I no longer take for granted what mother earth has "blessed" me with. I just cant seem to build that bond with anyone else I meet. I'm starting to wonder if our meeting each other was not just chance . . .
hurm pondering though.
well I suppose I have released everything I have for now and hope to write more now.
so long my little bandits!
xxXxx
VV
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Want to be somebody!
They fill the air with expulsion and make me breathe. My nose bleeds and my eyes water but I cant quite tell if its from anger or harsh fumes. Who knew so many hurtful words could be said in silence. I did and yet i proceded with the wake. My own funeral and heart shattering affairs. doing nothing getting nowhere and being no one.
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